It's A Loving Hatred, Near
by Chiba.Kun
Summary: [MelloxNear, angst] Oneshot. Rated T to be safe. For about two weeks now Mello had constantly been intruding in Near’s room just before he went to sleep. His mind would always scream, “do it, do it, It’ll make his life miserable…”


Every Night it was the same thing. For about two weeks now Mello had constantly been intruding in Near's room just before he went to sleep. He seemed to have something fixated in his mind. It would always scream, "do it, do it, It'll make his life miserable…"

Needless to say it was obvious to Near that he was hated by Mello. For what reason, he wasn't sure, but it was probably the fact that Mello and he were competing for the title of "L" that so many people in the orphanage longed for. He wouldn't be surprised if Mello tried to assassinate him – after all, it was the impulsive, unpredictable and most probably dangerous Mello.

On the other hand, Near was anticipating what would happen tonight. He lay on his bed, looking at the ceiling, arms hanging over the sides slightly. He was wearing his most comfortable pajamas (just in case).

The door opened, and Near shut his eyes.

"You know what time it is, don't you, Near?" A malicious voice said, laced with a sense of sheer, undeniable excitement. The mere _mention_ of causing Near pain had Mello hooked on this giddy feeling he was getting now. Near took deep breaths. Mello's footsteps grew closer… louder…

He felt the mattress sink slightly as Mello set one knee on it. He was still standing, apparently, and Near was sure he had a sadistic smirk on his face.

Kneeling down on the bed now, slightly over Near, Mello lifted the shirt of Near's pajamas and slipped his gloved hands onto Near's chest, and leaned in to kiss his stomach. Near tensed at the contact. Mello had done this once before; one of the first times Mello started doing this. Yes… it wasn't serious then, and it felt really funny the first time Mello did this – he wasn't used to having his stomach touched. It made him laugh.

Not now…

Mello's tongue had come out of his mouth to feel around Near's skin. Near let a whimper escape from his throat reluctantly. He had absolutely no intention of letting Mello know how this was affecting him. Making him cry inside, making him scream for help but never once being able to let his feelings free. Why did he have to be so shy, so scared, so _withdrawn_? He opened one eyes a crack to see the top of Mello's blonde head close to his stomach. With great effort, he reached up and began to stroke Mello's hair, hoping to coax him gently out of the state he was in. Convince him to stop torturing Near. Though something was strange… He made a mental note of how soft it was today, and how cool it was to the touch... smooth, almost silky… It was easy to play with too… he made small curls of it around his finger much like he did his own, and Mello looked up, shocked. Near realized what he was doing and snapped back to the horrifying reality that was Mello's abuse.

"I see you haven't learned your lesson yet. Troublesome bastard…" he muttered. He pulled away slowly so Near's hand fell beside him on the mattress. His hand were withdrawn, and he unbuttoned the comforting flannel shirt Near wore now. He could feel himself squirming, in mind and body. There was no escape, no escape, this would go on and on and Near would be in Hell for hours. Why did Mello have to be so cruel to him…? He didn't want this to happen; he didn't mean to do anything to cause Mello pain…

Then Mello did something new: He touched Near in a place that was never, _ever _meant to be touched. Ever. Not only that, he _groped _it. Near let out a cry now. "Stop…!" He squealed. "Please, stop, Mello!"

Mello laughed dryly. "At your limit… fine. I'll stop." He let go, and Near was thankful for that. But that triumphant look on Mello's face… his smirk, his narrowed eyes… It burned Near. He was ashamed. He was embarrassed…

Still… as Mello left the room, he reflected on how much he needed Mello. He enjoyed the attention… Even if he was being touched like this.

The truth was, he wanted to be friends with Mello… in fact, he admired the way Mello came up with things and then executed them without haste. How he had this way of overpowering everyone and anyone, no matter how old or ruthless they were…

Even Mello was flawed, though, Near realized. Everyone had flaws… what were Mello's?

He let his emotions get away with him… he let a grudge take over his life.

Still… envy was plain to see. Near wondered if he could show emotion like that. He never had before, and it peeved him.

Near had feelings too, though most were alien to him, like what was occurring inside him now… the screams of anger, the cries of fear, the loneliness of everyday life, then suddenly the pounding sense of what was happening before… it was overwhelming.

Pointing out Mello's flaws, he reasoned, was just another way of trying to pin his feelings on something else. Take the guilt off him; ward away what he really felt.

Near found that without the abuse, he could grow to really like Mello. They could get along fine if Near were somebody else… Mello hated and despised Near. Mello lived to cause Near pain, since he knew he could never become the next L. The abuse was just a means of helping Mello to feel better. In all honesty, Near wanted Mello to stop. He wanted to prove to Mello that he was sorry and he did generally like him as a person.

It was a love-hate relationship, you could say.


End file.
